Culture shock is the shock of moving to a foreign country in a long period.
Or : a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation
The shock suffered by some people when they return home after a number of years overseas. This can result in unexpected difficulty in readjusting to the culture and values of the home country, now that the previously familiar has become unfamiliar.
I have experienced both culture shock and reverse culture shock due to living overseas for almost 6 years. And to be honest, for me experiencing Reverse Culture Shock is worse than culture shock itself.
In June 2004, I started a new life in Singapore, from tourist visa to student visa and explored Singapore alone, without any friends I knew in this tiny country. I felt so lonely of course, I was in a new environment but so far I never get problem with being alone. Then I started making friend with new friends from local and other countries.
At first, everything was fine until my fifth months/ half year in Singapore, I got so bored and being totally homesick. The latter I knew, it was a phase I entered my Culture Shock moments. Because all my attitude show the Symptoms of Culture Shock.
At that time, I couldn’t stop comparing between Indonesia and Singapore, being more subjective to this country and arrogantly claimed Indonesia is the best, how boring this country after my 5 months had passed, how I missed Indonesian jokes and relax lifestyle, I became more patriotic than ever, I changed my ring tone to one of Indonesia’s National song, I became so judgmental to this country, I stereotyped how Singaporeans are, all of these attitude is part of Culture Shock.
It’s normal for those who live in foreign country in a long period of time, and after I observed from social network, some of my friends who living abroad, showing such attitude. When I read their status towards host country, becoming grumpy and more blind nationalist, it brings me to my old experiences. And I think Culture shock can be happen even though we have been staying for 4 or 5 years in host country. Probably, it depends on your social life and personality.
I could cope with my culture shock and became more normal after I became so busy with my school projects, more friends from several countries and listened to Radio Power98 FM accompanied my days.
Apparently, It is not really hard to deal with Culture Shock moments in a foreign country than culture shock when I returned home.
To cope with Culture Shock in a foreign country,such as:
- Integrating with local, understanding local language, i.e singlish, it makes me feel being like them, not foreigner.
- Keep an open mind, making friend with different nationality friends not only with Indonesian community
- Go clubbing. We need different social life.
- Stop comparing. Just observing and studying closely.
- Stop whining.
- Every country has plus and minus, skip the minus side, focus on the plus side.
In January 2010, I returned to my home country and at these days I truly realized, coming back to your country after leaving your country in a number of years would affect your emotional less or more. It depends on how much you integrated to foreign country you stay.
Okay, I can say I experienced culture shock in Singapore for around 3 or 4 months, but when I came back to Indonesia, a country where I was born and grew up, Hmmmmm…. I think it will take me for the whole my life to readjust this lifestyle again. I am still in Reverse Culture Shock condition up to now. For example;
1. When I left for Singapore, I was still quite young, but when I came back to my home country, my marriage’s plan is everyone’s business. I still never understand and so many times I told people who asked me such question, I answered ‘ hello, Do you realize, you entered my private life and I don’t like that’
Then normally they will reply: ‘because we care about you’
OMG, these traditions are sick!!! I BELONG TO MYSELF NEITHER ANY CULTURE NOR TRADITION!! So, it’s my right to decide whether I ‘d like to get married or not.
In Indonesia, majority of people’s mindset, if you don’t get married at certain ages, they might think you’re unlucky, nobody wants you, it’s like you’re such a pathetic lonely girl in the world. Being quite long in Singapore, I forgot how to act fake as most Indonesian girls in replying this question, so, in Indonesia, if your relatives or friends asking you this question, you should answer it like this way: ‘ Insyaallah, in the near time, I hope your prayer’
FOR GOD’S SAKE, I don’t understand this BASA BASI or these fakes. What’s the point you reply like that?? I don’t need you pray for me for this thing. I’m definitely sure they won’t waste of time in their prayings to ask this to god. It’s just for their gossip stuff. I can’t stand with this stupid gossip culture anymore, but no choice. I wanted to scream HOW I REALLY MISS SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!!!
I got self-pressured at work in Singapore, but in Indonesia I got this ridiculous peer-pressured, if there’s an option between self-pressured or peer-pressure, I prefer the first one.
2. Religion, people take religions dead serious. It’s so lame and boring. It’s like very important to show people or toward your society how religious you are, how good you are in embracing what so called the eastern value. How arrogant we are in claiming eastern value is the right one!!! And blaming at the western value for all degradation moral we have got so far.
I got the conclusion from the infotainment (Celebrity news), the news and Sinetron (Soap opera), how our celebrities and politicians are quite hypocrite or too hypocrite even more.
In Singapore, people don’t really care what your religion is. It seems not really important for them, they are more realistic in life, just too busy with their own goal how to survive in this expensive country. To me, religion is my privacy.
3. Very poor public transportation. I was wondering, in Singapore, they launched new MRT rails every 5 years. I know Jakarta is over populated city, but I believe where there’s a will, there’s a way to solve this traffic jam problem. But here, they are just busy how to enrich themselves from public taxes, buying luxury Apartment in Singapore for their long-term invest. So selfish!!
Hello Gayus Tambunan and friends, how do you feel,.. I work my ass off and paid taxes and you corrupt these money instead of building your lovely country?? Please, show your country dignity from how good you are in managing our country, good public transportation and road infrastructure first, please be nice for those who can’t afford a private transportation.
4. In Jakarta or big cities in Indonesia, you will see young moms with their babies and nannies wear uniform hang out in the mall. (it’s like in Nanny’s movies) See, how nice being a rich young mom in this city, It’s quite rare to see this kind of images in Singapore. Before the government applied the baby bonus policy, almost no babies or infant in Singapore. People are busy with their career because life is full of high competition.
5. I used to walk in a fast speed, when I’m in the mall here, I got so frustrated when I have to wait people in front of me walk quite slow like snail. I think people walk in fast speed only in the train station in Jakarta. I tried to withdraw any conclusion, what makes in Indonesia, we walk so slow compared to other countries in the world. I studied closely, in Holland people walk quite fast as in Singapore.
Until I got my final conclusion, probably in Holland, Singapore or any developed countries in the world, they are used to proper public transportation based on time schedule. How about in Indonesia, we can stop public transportation whenever we want. So we don’t need to rush in our walk speed. In addition, rich or middle class Indonesian have their own private vehicle, in Singapore, 2.5 million commuters take MRT each day.
Another factor is, life in Indonesia is just quite relax. My dutch friend got confused when he came to Indonesia and watched males or females just sit in their house terrace or small shop (warung), just doing nothing, or gossiping the whole day, and it’s not even Sunday or Saturday. He said: ‘It’s just not common in our country, sit doing nothing the whole day, it’s like you’re very lazy people..”
Hmmm.. we’re lazy?? … hmm, that’s maybe true but not all of Indonesians are lazy. Some are just not really creative for their life and no idea what to do but chatting and playing cards to kill the time, or watching ‘infotainment (gossip shows).
6. I miss walking culture in Singapore. In Singapore I can walk for 2 hours or more in a day from Monday to Friday, so I never feel guilty when I have quite much dinner, because I burnt out much calorie after that. Life is more healthy with this walking culture, pedestrian friendly, safe and clean. In Jakarta, what I eat just become an ugly fat stuck in my body.
Walking or strolling is one of activity I can’t do in Jakarta (besides I don’t reside in elite residence) . The first problem ,mostly the pavement are not possible to pass for a walk, no maintenance, polluted, and besides the pedestrian path are occupied by illegal vendors.
Then, I hate when there’s still unimportant guys acted so impolite to distract my way by saying; ” hello miss, just alone ?? etc etc.. need to accompany.” What the fuck!
How impolite or can you just mind your own business. Get out of my sight!!
7. In Indonesia, I’m going to die as Passive smoker. Nobody mind if you want to smoke in public , it’s like they are very tolerant when you smoke in non AC bus or cafe. It’s like if you don’t like people smoke means you’re not a cool person. …….. I really miss Singapore fresh air in cafe or Starbucks. The government educated their people and foreigner like me that it’s nicer the environment without cigarette smoke than full of smoke air like we have in Indonesia. We have the law not to smoke in indoor, but when my brother in law asked any ashtray to the waitress, he nicely offered an ashtray to my brother in law. In fact, YOU CAN’T SMOKE IN AC-ROOM!!!!!!!!!
Again, we’re just too ignorant of this issue. In our mind, Cigarette still represents the macho guy in Marlboro advertisement. I never against smoker in the world, it doesn’t matter if you want to smoke in outdoor place.
Etcetera, etcetera.. When I told this to one of my Indonesian friend, she made an accusation that I’m such an arrogant Indonesian. SERIOUSLY, it hurts me when these ignorant friends never put themselves in someone’s else shoes!!!
Based on this accusations made me how I miss Singapore and my friends in Singapore, most of them are from different countries. I’m feeling like a stranger in my own country, and these people who never experience the same situation judged me in narrow mind, it feels like shit!
Indonesia is my country, I love Indonesian sense of humor, hospitality as well, however, I’m still trying to cope with this Reverse Culture Shock, at least, I have to minimize the frustration I get and struggle to deal with it. I don’t want to fake myself , at the same time, I also don’t want to be a stranger in my own country.